AL MURRAY, The Pub Landlord, tells us why.

OH THE IRONY. The Labour Party is little more than a month from bankruptcy and Gordon Brown, the man who has done so month to tax the British people into poverty, may be held jointly liable for its debts.

The party has five weeks to find £7.45m to pay off loans to banks and wealthy donors recruited by Lord Levy, Tony Blair's former chief fundraiser, or become insolvent. A further £6.2m will have to be repaid by Christmas - making £13.65m in all. The sum amounts to two-thirds of the party's annual income from donations. The figures are a conservative estimate as they do not include interest that will also have to be paid. A Labour source said that although the total debt was listed as £17.8m on the Electoral Commission website, the true level, with interest, was nearer to £24m.

Send in the bailiffs! But wait, it gets better ...

Click to read more ...

Its a Reno 911 spoof people, don't go beserk.

They don't even make an attempt at being objective in this non-bylined story.

It'd be interesting to know who put this agitprop together.

A Palestinian "protester" dons a Santa outfit, instigates some trouble with Israeli troops and this is the resulting headline:

'Father Christmas' beaten in West Bank demo: organisers

It's all downhill from there.

Israeli guards beat five demonstrators, including one dressed as Father Christmas, during a protest on Friday against Israel's separation barrier in the West Bank, organisers said.

About 50 Palestinian, Israeli and international peace activists attended the rally in the village of Um Salomona, near Bethlehem, the Biblical birthplace of Jesus that is preparing to celebrate Christmas.

Israeli border guards armed with truncheons briefly detained one activist and beat another five during the rally, the organisers told AFP, adding that one was wearing a Santa Claus costume.

No mention who these organisers are, what group they belong to, or whether they have any track record of pulling such transparent stunts to gain attention.

See, see, the Israelis are beating up Santa!

And AFP willingly plays along.

An Israeli army spokesman said there had been disorder at the protest and that several demonstrators who were briefly detained were subsequently released.

Israel says the massive barrier of electric fencing, barbed wire and concrete walls built across the West Bank is needed to stop potential attackers from infiltrating the country and attacking Jewish settlements on Arab land.

Yes, and it's been quite effective. Why tear down something that's working?

The Palestinians say the project is aimed at grabbing their land and undermining the viability of their promised state.

Good grief. 

Also at JWF. 

I could've predicted this… now, Muslims are  creating self-help groups to deal with Offended Muslim Syndrome (OMS).

“Following the misery inflicted on Islam by a toy bear that ended up with calls for the execution of an English woman, more Muslims are stepping forward with stories of long-suppressed emotional trauma imposed on them by so-called reality. This has led to the creation of support groups and social networks that help followers of the Prophet Mohammed cope with the agony of learning about life outside of their immediate environment…”

Read more at The People’s Cube

I believe I have mentioned my eldest brother before on this blog, and his world-renowned lack of aptitude for ANYTHING electrical, mechanical or electronic. Our wider family has had collective hysteria over the years about the time he took to replace the batteries in his door bell (TWO HOURS),  or his complete misunderstanding of central heating; but this evening he came up with a new gem.

It seems he was listening to a broadcast which talked about how the famous Bodleian Library in Oxford had arranged to digitise all it's books, and so make them available over t'Internet. He was puzzled as to how this would work, and asked me if, and here I do not embroider, if the computer user would click on a series of buttons which would start some recording being played of, say, Charles Dance reciting the works of Shakespeare!

He was really p******d off when I collapsed in hysterics, and said just because he didn't understand computers, there wasn't any need to start laughing as hard as I did! 

Marcel Marceau, the world's only famous mime, is to be buried in an imaginary coffin so he can perform his best-known illusion -- the man trapped in an invisible box -- for all eternity, sources close to the Marceau family revealed after the entertainer's death at age 84 today . "Marcel was a born showman, and now he will be a dead showman," said his publicist. Read more here!

Dont Tase me Bro!

Monty Python style

hat-tip: from the barrel of a gun

First, there was  the video of Hillary Clinton calling Vice President Cheney “Darth Vader.”

And now this.  Cheney  responds:  “Hillary, I am your father.”

From Scott Ott at scrappleface:

(satire warning!)
(2007-09-20) — Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to Sen. Hillary Clinton’s reference to him as “Darth Vader,” this morning addressed the Democrat presidential hopeful saying: “Hillary, I am your father.”

“Before I turned to what you call ‘the dark side’,” Mr. Cheney explained, “I was once like you, Sen. Clinton. I had hopes and dreams that good could triumph over evil through the force of government regulation. But then my eyes were opened to the true source of power — freedom — and my lust for that power has driven me since that day.”

Mr. Cheney said he would try to persuade Sen. Clinton to cross over to his side, but that “ultimately, the only way for freedom to prevail is for its opponents to be defeated.”

A spokesman for Mrs. Clinton said the senator “would never turn, but would continue to use the force of government to protect people from the evils of capitalism, the dangers of liberty, and the devastating consequences of a rigid interpretation of the Constitution.”
 

When I'm asked to name my favourite comedy of all time I always reply Fawlty Towers.  However, when I'm asked to name the best comedy moment of all time, I instinctively mention that famous scene from Only Fools and Horses when Del Boy falls through the bar. 

It was a scene from an episode entitled Yuppy Love, first broadcast on the 8th January 1989 (I was still at school!  Where does the time go?), when Del is anxious to find a little romance in his life and goes to a trendy wine bar in Peckham to assess the quality of the local young women.  Things are not improved when he is joined by the hapless Trigger, but when he precipitates the biggest humiliation of his life by falling through the hatch, it can only lead in one direction - the door marked 'exit.'

When I first saw this at the age of 16 I remember laughing so much I had to take a headache tablet.  Eighteen years later and it's still as hilariously brilliant as ever.

Enjoy!

Deputy information minister Tariq Azeem said it was a "farcical end" to the standoff in the Red Mosque, led by the cleric Abdul Aziz, who previously urged his followers to launch suicide attacks against the government of President Pervez Musharraf. "After all the things he has said and all the oaths he took from his students that they should embrace martyrdom with him, look at this man, he had to eventually try to run like a woman," the minister told AFP. Officials became suspicious when a group of 20 burqa-clad women (jihadi molls) from the mosque started screaming as they were taken to a nearby school for security checks after giving themselves up, saying the procedure was un-Islamic.

"Our men spotted his (Aziz's) unusual demeanour. The rest of the girls looked like girls but he was taller and had a pot belly," a security official said on condition of anonymity. Paramilitary officer Manzoor Ahmad, who saw the incident, said a security official "spotted a tall, well-built woman with a big belly who was neither shouting nor screaming."

The much-loved Peter Sellers, as Inspector Clouseau (undercover) checks into a hotel in Bavaria.

Pat's response to those who have called him a racist:

Comedian and lapsed Catholic Pat Condell has posted a number of videos in YouTube attacking religion. This one has led to allegations of racism from the Peace and Justice Commissioners on Berkeley's city council and to death threats from Saudi Arabia, Syria and, less surprisingly, Tower Hamlets. Hat tip Pub Philosopher. Update: ive just read that Google wont keep this up for long so watch it while you can. Oh and listening to this makes me kind of proud so - i heart the UK of GB and NI (ducks!)

Whilst browsing for something else, I came across this old gem.  Hopefully the ladies will take it in good spirits!