Paul Weston Goes Drinking
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at 08:37PM Paul Weston writes to tell us of a recent experience in a pub with a singularly appropriate name:
Drinking in my local pub last week – The Saracens Head – I was surprised to overhear an animated discussion revolving around the subject of one Frederick (Freddie to his friends) Thielemans.
As my fellow drinkers are, in the main, horny-handed sons of the soil, I had naturally assumed they would not be entirely au fait with the latest developments vis-à-vis European politics.
But they soon put me right. One point, repeatedly raised by a Charles Montgomery Martel (Mad Monty Martel, as he is known in the Saracens Head and the nearby Bigot’s Arms) was how extraordinarily ugly mayor Thielemans is.
I must confess that Freddie’s physical failings had until that moment quite passed me by, but with a dextrous flick of a hand more suited to the daily relief of cows, Mad Monty conjured a dog eared photograph from his corduroy pocket of none other than mayor Thielemans himself!
Good Lord, I murmured to myself, as heads craned to glimpse this quite revolting image, Mad Monty is absolutely right, mayor Thielemans really is quite hideously ugly, how could I possibly not have noticed this before?
With an appalled fascination, we slowly passed the photograph around, shaking our heads more in sorrow than anger. One local farmer, a breeder of the scarcely known pig variety “Brusellius Horriblius” was so sickened he bought up an entire pint of Bitter and Twisted, the local brew much favoured in this part of the world.
Once Mad Monty had dried off his photograph, an eerie calm settled across the pub. The silence one may have heard when the guns fell silent during the war, or a traumatized victim perhaps feels upon receiving his medication.
Suddenly, a stentorian voice, more suited to bringing sheep dogs to heel on those desolate windswept moors nearby, abruptly crashed through the shaken and shocked pub.
“Y’ere” it bellowed, “an I’ll tell ee summat else, e’s a roight fat fookin baastard an’all!”
As I sprang to reappraise yet another overlooked aspect of mayor Thielemans, I realised that my natural inquisitiveness, or thirst for knowledge, had overcome the deference normally shown to ageing farmers, and had pushed ahead of the oldest man in the pub.
I made my apologies, but he waved them away. “No, no,” he said, “I really can’t take any more. You go ahead, take a gander, and then describe it to me, but gentle mind!” He tapped his chest a couple of times, implying that at his age, one shock per day is more than adequate.
When I looked again at the still moist photograph, I had to hit myself on the head at my lack of visual cognisance! How could I have missed this one? Not only is mayor Thielemans hideously ugly, he is also massively - if not monstrously – fat.
Well, after that, the evening turned into something of a haze. Whether it was the alcohol or some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder, I know not. All I can really remember is the final point made by Mad Monty; which bought into doubt mayor Thielemans sexuality.
Now, it is not for me to question the sexuality of the roly-poly mayor of Brussels . As far as I am concerned, if he is heterosexual, then that is his business, and his business alone. I cautioned my fellow drinkers on the litigious dangers in alluding to the heterosexuality of socialist mayors. I am sure some of them are, I explained to them, but you simply cannot tar them all with the same brush. A great many of them go home every night to nubile young Brazilian boys, just as every self respecting socialist mayor is expected to do.
Mad Monty then explained why he had a photograph of Fat Freddie in his pocket. It turns out that on some EU farmers junket to Brussels in the 90’s, he had got very drunk, gate crashed a lesbian wedding ceremony for German MEP Lissy Groner and her unnamed girlfriend (did Ms Groner take the girlfriends name I wonder?) and found none other than Fat Freddie Thielemans conducting the ceremony.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, photos were taken, hence his possession of the damp, but still shockable picture in his pocket. I asked him why he carried out around with him, to which he replied that he used it a means of inducing labour in recalcitrant cows when all else had failed.
“Better the old bitch die of shock, than a calf die inside her” as he so eloquently put it.
Returning to mayor Thielemans sexuality for a moment, I have recently been given a clipped out article from a very hungover Mad Monty, which suggests that Fat Freddie may not be heterosexual after all. According to the Brussels Evening Echo, an unattractive, corpulent individual, in possession of a luxuriant moustache, was spotted rooting around in the back alleys of the adolescent (built only fifteen years ago) Arab Quarter of downtown Brussels, red faced, sweating profusely and singing the anthem to the Red Flag.
This may or may not have been mayor Thielemans, and I would like to state, quite unequivocally, that to my mind, unpalatable though it may be, I am convinced he is heterosexual.
Mayor Thielemans is many things: The charge of being hideously ugly would have a difficult defence in a court of law, as would monstrously fat, or even viciously treacherous. But I do think we need to draw a line somewhere, and that somewhere is his sexual proclivity, be it procreative or passive. After all, if it turned out that he was indeed homosexual, what would his local voters make of that?
Given his varied physical problems, I think the least we can do is to maintain that mayor Thielemans is heterosexual, no matter what evidence comes to light in the coming months. I should hate to think of the lovely Freddie, swaying gently by his feet from a lamppost in years to come, surrounded by swarthy men loosing their Kalashnikovs into the air, as small boys with long memories hit his sad, podgy face with slippers, his magnificent moustache drooping poignantly downward.
C. Paul Weston
Mr Smith
As some ATW readers have hitherto been blissfully unaware of the odious little toad that is Fat Freddy, I'm attaching two hyperlinks which I hope will explain matter.
A Gates of Vienna piece on the Criminalisation of Peaceful Protest, and a Brussels Journal piece on a demonstration which Fat Freddy has allowed to take place.
Now, I wonder who remembers the end of this quotation:
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible..."
Heresy 
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Reader Comments (24)
What WERE you all drinking ?
I always wondered what went on in gay bars.
He wrote those other pieces sober?
What is the point if there is no photo of the ugly brute, Thielemans.
LOL Frank you wicked man.
Ok, ok, if you really want to see pretty-boy Freddy, I'll update the post with some more information. Don't forget, you did ask.
His ban of a 9/11 demonstration likely accounts for his lack of popularity at the Saracen's Head Pub. What his sexuality has to do with anything is of course the particular concern of Mr. Weston and Mr. Smith.
here it is
http://atangledweb.squarespace.com/httpatangledwebsquarespace/islam-in-europe-of-demos-and-decisions.html#comments
Freddie Thielemans is the mayor of Brussels and the man who has banned the "Stop The islamisation of Europe" march on Sep 11th.
He has done so because he fears the local Muslims (a majority now in Brussels) will turn violent.
If you google freddie Thielemans and Brussels Journal, you will get the whole story.
It is a sigh of the times in the UK that this story is not in the mainstream media.
Mr Thielemans is a Socialist, 10 out of his 17 council members are Muslims.
He is allowing an Islamic march in brussels on Sep 9th, which claims that 9/11 was perpetrated by the Jews.
But not ours.
If you google SIOE you will be able to sign the petition asking him to reconsider the ban. There are currently some 7,000 signatures, but more are needed.
I'm sorry, I thought people were aware of this clamping down on freedom in the heartland of Europe.
Islam 1 Europeans 0
If the ban stays, there are thousands claiming to go anyway. mr Smith and I have booked our tickets and collected crash helmets.
It is likely to turn rough, but it is important to be there.
Mahons
His sexuality has a lot to do with it. If he is a homosexual he can kiss goodbye to his Islamic electorate.
Paul
I certainly cannot see how he can be permitted to allow one march but not the other. Is there no legal avenue open to challenge this unfair decision.
I think an argument could be made that this particular mayor is less than heroic when it comes to free speech. His is apparently not a fan of Christianity and panders to a Muslim constituency. I think that his sexual preferances are irrelevant to the real issue.
The particular parade is a protest against the Islamization of Europe and selected 9/11 as their date. The banning itself serves more as a demonstration of the Islamification than any parade could. I'd condemn the Mayor on those grounds (is there free speech in Brussels?).
Well, any city that gave it's name to the world's most repulsive vegetable can't have much to recommend it.
Colm
An appeal has been lodged by SIOE. The result will be out next week.
it is unlikely to make any difference. The local police had already agreed to the march, Thielemans ban is completely political, nothing will change his mind, but we will have to wait and see.
In his time in office, he has allowed thousands of marches, and only banned 6, all of them because they were classified as terrorist organisations.
This is a blatant attempy to shut down free speech, something I have been pointing out is in the nature of our socialist European politicians for some time now.
Bit of a contradiction there Paul. If he has allowed thousands of marches but only restricted six, that hardly squares with the claims of trying to shut down free seech, although I do agree the ban on this march does not seem acceptable.
i like that multi-story vegetable
it has a low carbon footprint but a high carbon dibackside one
Norma
I'd rather shove them up my backside than in my mouth - and no that's not a sexual fetish of mine.
Mr. Smith:
The photo update of Mr. Thielemans is'nt much help; have you not a photo of his face rather than arse?
Even the tide would'nt take that out!
That was an example of allegory right? Chock full of symbols and metaphors anyway I thought.
Brought to you by Messrs. Smith & Weston.
How extended can an allegory get?:)
I actually thought it was more coherent than usual. You do comedy fairly well Paul. Maybe this is a better niche for you than counterproductive exaggeration and hyperbole when it comes to EU matters...
LOL good one Bernard.
DSD
One of the arguments fat Freddie is prepared to use against us, is that we are contravening EU rulings on "Racism and xenophobia".
The EU plans to include within this remit any criticism of any EU institution at all.
This is frightening.
They have also given themselves a clause which allows them to seek further power as when they think necessary.
If you know your history, this is how the democratically elected Mr Hitler gained dictatorial power.
I presume you include my reference to the British Army as hyperbole.
The EU constitution makes it quite clear that the British army will answer to Brussels, rather than the Queen.
7 out of the 27 Commissioners are ex communists, whilst the background of others is made up of Maoists and marxists.
They will not allow us a referendum (unless we can force Browns unwilling hand).
There will be one treaty left to sign, after (if) this one is ratified.
This will take place before 2010. At that point, boyo, it's all over. You will be living within a total dictatorship.
If I am wrong, come and visit me in the States and tell me I'm an idiot.
If I'm right, TRY and come to visit me.....you may find it difficult.
What is looming large is surely not impossible to see coming?
Woo-hoo! What a read - love it.
I do really hope that y'all go and counterprotest - or protest - or something. Take pictures. I'll link you and the homeschool bloggers in America will see how brave and wonderful you are and root you on.
Paul,
As usual you mix valid points with hyperbole and half-truths, like the old chestnut about criticism of EU institutions. *One* commissioner said that it should be likened to blasphemy a very long time ago but it has become an article of faith amongst the (no offence) more hysterical of the anti-EU lobby that this means the EU has/is codifying plans to do so. It hasnt, though to be fair it wouldnt surprise me if it was.
The point is that you offer sweeping shock-horror points such as that one with absolutely no evidence. It might not hurt the cause with those who already loathe the EU and all its works, but unfortunately their arent enough of the converted yet that the goal of withdrawal can be achieved simply by preaching to them. We have to reach the *neutrals*, that 40-50% who still tick the 'stay in the EU but transfer powers away from Brussels' box. And I'm afraid your way of doing things in big tabloid Schlock-horror letters without backing it up with the proper evidence just isnt going to get that done.
Another example is the 'clause' you refer to - yes, you are right of course that it is what Richard North termed a 'self-amending Treaty' but once again you make a wild-sounding claim (to those who don't already know that it is actually true) and provide nothing to back it up.
A single link/quote will do the job, like this one from North:
http://eureferendum.blogspot.com/2007/08/footbridge-to-power.html
"And, despite the fact that the same people attend both the IGC and European Council, the important legal distinction remains – the members of the European Council do not represent their own states. They represent the Union. As such, they will be duty bound to advance the objectives and serve the interests of the Union. In strict terms, if revising the treaties is couched in terms of advancing the objectives of the Union (or serving its interests) the European Council will be obligated under the terms of the treaty to approve any moves proposed. The veto, therefore, is of only symbolic effect."
See? Explanation and detail on how the European Council is now to legally become an actual EU institution and will then be subject to the interests of the EU and not the members' own countries, not big dripping letters. Works much better, doesnt it?